Bankers I 8:52

For the most part the nurses have had it

And this being the first Sunday of the month the revd. Samweller came up to the pulpit and laying his paws upon it – said:

Brethren, Woof be unto you, my reading today is from Bankers 8:52

“There was at that time, this being at the end of the days of Gordon, a family in Albion of the tribe of Philidors. Lamech and Martha were they and their young sons were Jared and Caleb, who were as Kings and Lions and most pleasing to their parents and their parent’s parents.

Now it came to pass that as Jared and Caleb grew mightily that the house of Lamech & Martha became a tight and narrow place for all within – and they were desirous of a larger house. And such a house they kneweth as they had followed one, even as one would follow a fatted calf  that sickened in the fields, watching as its worth wasted from the plague from fifty and two hundred thousands Kronics (for such were the people beginning to call the coin of the land) to two hundred thousand. And so, as was the custom of the times, they came unto the bankers that they might borrow of them sufficient Kronics.

And the bankers put them to a severe enquiry, as was the new way under the new covenant of “Loan to Value”.

“You have borrowed of us already five and eighty thousand when thee bought thy present abode, and we have released unto you another fifty thousand upon the waxing of the value thereof. In the eyes of the agents who giveth mind (or what little of it they have) to such things thy present abode has worth of sixty and one hundred thousand . Therefore you have but five and twenty thousand that you bring as a dowry to wed our money. Do you not know the new convenant asks that you should find fifty thousand Kronics to come before us without fear and pleading?

But pray, tell us a thing, how has thy spent the fifty thousand we advanced upon the waxing of value? For surely if you had not taken this money of us then you should be within the covenant. For the bankers had in mind that Lamech & Martha had spent the money upon fripperies and follies – as many had.

Then answered Lamech & Martha, for the most part the nurses have had it.

The bankers were sore puzzled and asked what meanest thou – the nurses have had it ?

And Lamech & Martha gave account of how they were a goodly family of the middling sort. That is to say they were not of the Chav-Asbos nor those of mighty estate, who becastle their ducks in motes and whose cats are wide of beam. How both, yeah both, laboured by the honest sweat of their browes in the cells of service and went forth upon the chariot ways that they and their children might prosper. But whilst they laboured they must give care of their young sons to the nurses and render unto them nigh on nine thousand Kronics in the year for such care. A sum which together with what they must render unto the bankers had left them but a half of what they earned, from which half they and their sons must live. Therefore had they borrowed more of the bankers.

Verily ,sayeth the bankers, hast thou not ventured into the malls of mammon then through their windows of desires? Verily, replied Lamech & Martha, a few fripperies we admitteth but of great follies none.

And the bankers retired to give thought to that which they had learnt. And their first thought was this – we must give attention to these nurses for they are able to tax such as Lamech & Martha almost unto our taxing of them. Let us nurse these nurses -for the young are always with us.

As for Lamech & Martha – let them return unto us, later.

Here endeth the lesson, woof be with you.”


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